Crisis Communication in Personal Life...

An incident yesterday forced me to think and write this, well not that I do not think and write otherwise, but you know what... think think ....

I was leaving to pick up my wife when I was accosted outside my office by one of the neighbours asking about another car standing outside. I replied, Why? what is the matter. He responded with another question - whose car is it? It was one of my colleagues and I said it is ours.

Hearing this the neighbour - an old senile man became aggressive and said that this car had caused an accident the previous day. This particular neighbour had an angst against us as he had cheated us some years back and ever since we had had no dealings with him and had made known his dishonesty. Not that there was much reaction because he and his family including extended family were known to be cheats.

Now that I have laid down the background, my reaction on hearing his accusation was extreme scepticism. I asked him who was involved in the accident and how did he know that this was the car? He said that it was his grandson and the Guard at the gate had noted the number of the vehicle and that is how he knew. I saw the guard who was till then with the neighbour leaving with a smile on his face.

I immediately reacted aggressively too saying how did he know who was at fault. Also what happened, this guy told me that the motorcycle his grandson was driving was badly damaged. I asked him where had the accident taken place, he replied at the society gate.

Now to describe the society gate, it is almost a blind entry with many rickshawwallas crowding the entrance and this is a spot where accidents can happen without anybody's fault.

So I said that if it had happened at the gate then it could be anybody's fault and to blame a bigger vehicle for the accident (in India it is the norm to blame the bigger vehicle in an accident).

The old man became even more aggressive and said that the motorcycle had been badly damaged and who will pay for it, etc. I again said how can he be sure whose fault it is? There was a slip of tongue on his part and he mentioned that his grandson was learning driving so he was coming at a slow speed, I immediately sensed something was amiss but by then my ante was up. I told the guy that since the boy was a learner, in all probability, the fault was his. The reply was that he daily takes the motorcycle to school. Yes in India it is perfectly normal for non driving license holder learners to be driving to school :)))) the parents are really rotten.

By then I was getting impatient to leave and I told the old man that it was not the car's fault, on hearing this he said he will complain to the police, I said as you wish and drove off. I reached the gate and asked the guard what had happened, he said nothing sir, the previous day the cars side-view mirror scraped the scooter which the kid was driving. Just then, the kid in question also drove by and the guard said that this was the kid involved in the "accident".

In the meanwhile the old man also reached the gate and started arguing with me. I again told him that it must have been the kids fault, and nothing had happened. By now the old man started shouting and I was mad too (I wanted to really knock this guy out!!!) so I replied angrily - do what you want, go to the police and drove on.

Now my mind had subconsciously registered facts which in my anger I had ignored. After driving for five minutes, I called my colleague and asked him if he had had an accident the previous day, he replied in the negative and asked me what happened. I narrated the entire incident and asked him to speak to the Guard. (I had stopped the car to make this call - should any of you feel that driving while making a call was what I was doing!!!).

By now I had cooled down and the subconscious became conscious. I realized that my colleague had a habit of informing me of even the minor scrapes that he got into, so it was not possible for him to have hidden a full blown accident. Second, I had passed his car on the way out and it was untouched, third the old man had said that his grandson was injured and the motorcycle had been damaged while the guard said it was a scooter.

My mind started analysing. I realised that I had handled a crisis badly. This was when I had only last week gone for taking a full blown Crisis Communication workshop across locations for a large corporate and had taught them how to handle a crisis!!!

What should have been my way of handling this crisis:
Firstly, I should have asked for all the facts of this so called accident
Then, I should have spoken to the Guard and verified the facts - if I had patiently done this, then I would have immediately spotted the gap wherein the old man said motorcycle and the guard said scooty; I should have then asked my colleague what had happened; Next I should have asked the old man to produce his injured kid - if the motorcycle had been as badly damaged as claimed, the kid would definitely have been injured. In my anger, the fact that the kid was driving his scooty normally while I was coming out only registered in my subconscious mind; after getting all the facts I should have calmly faced the Old man and shown him to be a liar.

In fact after half an hour of my calling the colleague, he called back saying that everything had been sorted out. He said that he made the kid face the old man and tell to his face that nothing as described by the old man had happened the previous day. The old man was proved to be a liar in front of everybody, including his grandson and son (not that it will do any good the son is already a cheat and if the trend continues the grandson will also end up being one - OUCH that is really NASTY - should I delete it - NAH I don't think so). The old man was trying to possibly extract some money out from some poor soul for the repair of a broken bike at his house!

The moral of this is that what holds true in the corporate world can also be applied to our personal lives. As the crisis unfolds, an analysis of facts and presenting the true facts in a rational manner should also be applied and can help identify issues and bring in quicker resolution of problems.

But we are humans after all and let the emotions over rule the brain and create unnecessary complications. Life is too short - If nursing angst means the other person is still important for you, Remember: Nobody is as important as yourself and move on.

Wish I could really apply all the gyan for myself :))))). It is easier dispensing advise than following it!!!!!!!